Plan B

The door swings open
held for what I thought was me
Smile,
think to myself
Aren't I lucky?
Turn around, I'm not alone.

Yes let me open up.
Let my petals all fall open.
Yet, watch as they wilt, drop to the floor, disappear
But this is what you wanted, no?

Let me tell you my secrets
brink on emptiness
share my only feelings, which are created
pulled across fabric too soft
ripping under the tears

This perfect picture that never existed
pressed behind glass
a museum displaying the fake
but truth? take it, you can have it all

My past has been a fraud
lies cleverly spun up to keep me from existing
silent, my words are non existent
smile and it'll all go away

I'm a cop out
avoiding the inevitable

Crazy all the same

I watched her from the window. She was a complete mess. Crying and then smiling. Pacing the length of the room. She held it in her hand, her life not even an arm's extension away. Control, complete control over everything. Crying, frustration, more anger to follow. Tears that questioned, even denied. As I watched, i wondered what went through her head. She dropped, collapsed, let go of her control.

Vanilla, white
skin like that of sweet cream.
Against porcelain just as fragile
soul cracked at the seams.
Glistening against soft crystal
Filling to saturation.
Water spilling over
Dancing upon the straight edge.
Pictures pooling
A cardinal taking flight.

Gone

Run faster to reach that edge
getting further to the getaway
You're already gone.
Drop the world
it was falling apart
and forget all that bull shit that made you
I'm gone anyway.
Rules confined to that tight leather book
Preaching to the empty minded
closed off and forgotten
The sidewalk ended here.
Red, yellow and green
stopping when told
never starting again
mind served and gone.
In this moment we waited,
waited to be fucked over
now falling off
cored and edges browning.
Sounds bouncing
white walls cracked up
bars slicing the sun
watch like a caged animal
not going anywhere.
Life comes as a pill
downing yesterday like a syrup
Spin 'till I collapse
start to feel sick
the lights go out.
I'm not fucking crazy

yesterday I had dreams

I'm the kind of girl that once believed in romanticism. Knights and shining armor. Smiling faces and cheerful laughter. I believe in love and happiness. This is the kind of girl I am. There is no clouded eyes just sun-kissed hearts.this is the world i want. I want to think these wishes will come true. In hope of a happy tomorrow, a tomorrow that will never come

Leaving

Say goodnight to the moon
kiss the sweet reflection good-bye.
Watch as the stars burn out
Sing this sweet lullaby.
In the morning the sun will come
lighting up the late midnight sky
Caressing the horizon,
as the two worlds pass by.

-Rhymes, i really hate them.